Not very good at school and Church.

Could do better

Needs to try harder
Not reaching his full potential
Easily distracted
Needs to focus
Pleasant boy

These were the usual judgements passed on me annually by teachers of every school discipline except P.E. That teacher was always of the opinion that I was either “timorous or hard to motivate on the sports field” but he could never decide which. He was correct on both counts: I was afraid of being damaged by oafish louts who were motivated to inflict damage on my person by the daft prospect of reaching a line laid down in chalk in the middle of a field before anyone else. Under no circumstances was I going to enter that fray and I placed no value in the reward of people making loud, unpleasant noises by clapping their hands together when someone arrived at the white line.

Little did all of those teachers know how accurately they were describing my future journey into Christian faith.

Could do better

Needs to try harder
Not reaching his full potential
Easily distracted
Needs to focus
Pleasant boy

And here I am, ever resistant to throwing myself into the fray of Church life with all its brutality, danger and competition, so I don’t. I remain the timorous bystander who people are unsure of so that I don’t get damaged, preferring quiet personal reflection and observation to futile fist fights about baptism just as at school I preferred the wild delights of conjugating French verbs to football and jumping over fences like a horse.

Of course I don’t expect the righteous bully boys of the faith to give up their sport so that I can become a full member of their club any more than I would expect boxers not to punch people in the boxing ring so that I could join in without getting my face damaged. I’m happy for them – I just don’t feel the need to join their club. But in saying that we are all called into the one club if we profess Christian faith and we need to accommodate each other’s needs and interests within that club. So why do I feel excluded, marginalised? Is it their fault or mine? Is it anyone’s fault? Can there really be an accepting welcome for all believers in the one Church or is that yet another out of reach ideal?

It’s wrong of me to judge harshly; it’s wrong of me to judge at all. All Churches are welcoming but they tend to offer the kind of welcome they would like to receive themselves rather than the welcome that is appropriate to the stranger on the doorstep. When I arrive at a Church where I am a stranger I appreciate a smile and a hello, but please don’t go any further than that. I don’t appreciate being questioned about who I am, where I’m from and what I do. I just want to come in and worship.